Cheap Eats - Corner Bistro

Lars and myself made plans to see a foreign film at IFC Center on Saturday night, and despite the fact that he kept saying things like, "You're going to hate it," and "It's not going to have a narrative so you're probably not going to care," I committed anyway. I rarely go out in the West Village, so I figured it would be a good opportunity to finally check out that theatre, and hey, guess what Lars? Despite your initial thoughts, I actually LIKED Holy Motors. (Me both enthralled and confused below).

(Okay to be honest, I had no idea what the eff was going on but I'm still thinking about it today, so that has to count for something. There was one actor who played the majority of the characters in the movie. He engaged in a scene where he gets into a sexual situation with a contortionist in a CGI suit, then for some reason animated aliens boned, this was then followed up by some kind of leprechaun man character that steals Eva Mendes from a fashion shoot, like straight up hauls her away on his back, then she sings to him in a cave? So much crazy stuff went down . . . Anyone who says they know what this movie is about is full of sh*t . . .)

But that's not why you're here. We can talk about French cinema forever, but I would rather talk French fries, and badass burgers, because that's what's going down at the legendary Corner Bistro located on the corner of Jane and West 4th St. I originally heard about this place from some friends, then saw the sloppy burger featured on Food Network's Best Thing I Ever Ate. This place doesn't usually steer me wrong, so I gave it a try a couple winters ago. This was actually my third time at Corner Bistro, but I was very excited to introduce Lars, who was intrigued to say the least. (See Lars being intrigued below).

Corner Bistro has been in the same location since the beginning of the 20th Century, and they claim that the interior is remains mostly unchanged. I love the hustle of this place. Walk inside, get in line for a table, grab a couple of $3 McSorley's darks to slug during the wait, and then salivate before ordering one of the best burgers you can get in NYC. When you approach the front of the line (you should be slobbering at this point) the waiter will come get you and lead you to the next open table. Try to sit in the back, as you'll have a little more room to hang back. It tends to get a little busy near the bar. But at the same time, eff it, take what you can get. This place gets PACKED.

There's not much of a menu here, but it doesn't matter, because you're going to order the Bistro Burger and a side of fries. Period. Just don't bother messing with perfection. It's a half pound burger with classic American cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato, onion and pickle on a crispy toasted bun. Do yourself a favor and request a side of mayo. It's perfection with the Dijon mustard you'll find on every table. And that's what we did - two Bistro Burgers, with a side of fries (I hear they cook these in bacon fat) and then we ordered another three rounds of McSorley's dark to wash it all down. The fries are not all that special, but I will say they are salty and complement the burger just fine. It's not that their is anything unique about the burger. It's pretty basic, but it's just really effin' good. Perfect level of salt and fat. It's so juicy, and so addicting. I guarantee you'll gobble it down and want another one despite the fact that you're already stuffed.

If you're a big stupid idiot, and you decide to pass up the Bistro Burger (burger blasphemy!) they also offer a grilled chicken sandwich, grilled cheese or chili, but really, why would you do that? Just don't. You come to Corner Bistro because you want a damn good burger, some old school beer and a taste of history. And you also know you're getting a damn good deal. Don't forget - It's cash only!

THE DAMAGE: $24.00 per person (including tax + tip) And this was with six beers y'all.